I Left My Heart In Philadelphia
by Connie Welsh
Summary: Written for a His Dark Materials/Cabin Pressure prompt at the Cabin Pressure Fic Meme. A friendly game of "in my pants" on an otherwise boring flight is always made more interesting when your dæmons are chiming in.


" _To Kill a Mockingbird_."

" _Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde_."

" _The Cat in the Hat_."

"While that is a good one, it is also decidedly creepy, Douglas," Martin said, and Douglas frowned.

"Why? It's just as good of a contender as any," Douglas defended.

"It's a _children's_ book. Somehow that just makes it creepy. Like you're defacing childhood everywhere."

"I suppose _Goodnight Moon_ also falls onto your creepy list then, despite the delicious double meaning."

"Douglas!"

"You're letting him wind you up," Gyra chirped wearily in his ear, and Martin reached up to run two gentle fingers over his goldfinch dæmon soothingly.

"No I'm not," he murmured back, then addressed Douglas, " _The Grapes of Wrath_."

"Dull," Douglas intoned, scratching Janu behind the ears. The badger dæmon stretched in his lap, claws flexing.

"How is it dull?" Martin scoffed, "It's no different in quality from _To Kill a Mockingbird_."

" _Because_ Martin, the word 'bird' gives it instant double meaning," Douglas boasted, and Martin frowned. Douglas waited for him to get it, smirking.

Janu started snickering when the realization dawned and Gyra puffed up and flitted awkwardly on Martin's shoulder as the captain blushed.

"Douglas! How do you even begin to draw connections between _To Kill a Mockingbird_ and- and- " Martin flustered, and Douglas offered cheerfully, "And 'choking the chicken'? Quite easily Martin, if you've a brain like mine."

Any scathing reply Martin would have come up with was interrupted by Arthur's cheery chirp of, "Coffee, chaps!"

"Ah, good lad!" Douglas grinned, taking the cup and still enjoying Martin's embarrassed flush, " _The Call of the Wild_."

"Oo! What're we playing today?" Arthur asked excitedly, the rapid-fire wagging of Dasa's tail, his jack Russell terrier dæmon, the obvious indication of Arthur's enthusiasm to be included in the game.

"Caving to a popular phenomenon for once, we're doing book titles that are made better with the addition of 'in my pants' at the end," Douglas informed him.

"Brilliant! Who's winning?"

"I am, 4-2," Douglas smirked.

" _War and Peace_ ," Martin added, and Douglas conceded with a nod.

"4-3, then."

"Oo! Oo! Can I play?" Arthur asked, and Douglas shrugged.

"Sure, why not? Give it a go, Arthur."

" _Rocky and Bullwinkle_!"

There was an awkward pause as Martin, Gyra, Douglas and Janu all stared at him blankly, Dasa still wagging her tail obliviously happily.

"That's… a _cartoon_ , Arthur, we're just doing books," Martin finally corrected.

"Oh. Right," Arthur's smile only faded for a moment before springing right back into place, "Can I have another go?"

"Whatever you're trying to get another go at, forget it," came Carolyn's voice, and Arthur immediately scampered out of the way to let her into the cockpit, Dasa bumping into his legs.

Gyra gave a little 'eep!' and pressed against Martin's neck tightly as Rubik, Carolyn's large, grey tabby cat dæmon eyed them all with scrutiny from where he was draped across Carolyn's shoulders. Even Janu tried to make herself seem a bit smaller in Douglas's lap under the cat's commanding glare.

"Listen up, you lot!" Carolyn ordered, "Once we're in Philadelphia, you all are going to have _exactly_ 14 hours to get yourselves together before we leave to fly to San Francisco, so _use them wisely_."

There was a unanimous groan from the crew, and both Carolyn and Rubik glared at them, saying loudly over the noise, "More trips equal more money which equals MJN staying in the air, so save it."

"Mum, I wanted to see the Franklin Institute; I've read they have a huge heart there that you can run through!" Arthur said anxiously, "Will we have time with just 14 hours?"

"Being that we're arriving around 6pm and leaving, apparently, by 8 the next morning, I should think not, Arthur. Sorry old chap, maybe next time," Douglas said, and Arthur visibly deflated, Dasa sinking to lay on the floor, ears down and tail ceasing to wag, for once.

"Aw," Gyra murmured, giving Rubik a weary glace before plucking up the courage to fly down to Dasa, landing on the floor and putting her small head on Dasa's nose to speak quietly with her.

"Yes, dear, it's very disappointing," Carolyn sighed, "but unavoidable. We need this job."

"Yeah," Arthur sighed, dejected.

"The hotel reservations are already set, and we are, in fact, going to be up in the air and on our way by no later than 8:30 tomorrow morning. Are we clear?"

"Yes, Carolyn," they intoned, and she nodded.

"Good. Carry on."

Once Carolyn left, even Janu ambled with an aggravated huff off of Douglas's lap to talk with Dasa, who still looked crushed.

"There's neat stuff in San Francisco too, Arthur," Martin offered, "and I'm sure they have a museum of their own."

"One with a big heart in it?" Arthur asked hopefully, and Martin shrugged.

"Well, maybe not a _heart_ ," he said, "but, I dunno, maybe they have a pasta sculpture of Elvis or something."

Arthur's eyes widened, and even Dasa seemed to perk up a bit.

"Really? Do you think something like that could exist, Skip?"

"Anything's possible, Arthur," Douglas chimed in, and, like flipping on a switch, Arthur brightened.

"Wow! Wonder if I'll have time to look it up while we're in Philadelphia? Thanks, Skip!"

"Anytime Arthur," Martin smiled, and Arthur turned to leave, Dasa giving both Gyra and Janu a sloppy dog kiss before leaving.

"Ugh!" Martin heard Janu exclaim as she scurried back to Douglas, who wiped her face with a grimace as he pulled her back into his lap.

"You know what she's like," Martin sighed as Gyra flew back up to his shoulder disgruntledly, instantly starting to preen her ruffled feathers.

"Yes," she sighed, "overly enthusiastic, easily influenced, and overtly affectionate."

Martin chuckled in agreement.

" _Angela's Ashes_."

"Hm. Not bad, Martin. How about, _Little Women_?"

Fin.


End file.
